Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Standard Issue Benefit Show.

The city's best punk rock zine STANDARD ISSUE is hosting a 3 year anniversary party/benefit show on April 30th. The proceeds from the show will go towards putting out the next issue of the magazine.















STANDARD ISSUE, CAPITAL DISTRACTION & FAST TIMES presents:

FRIDAY APRIL 30TH 2010

STANDARD ISSUE BENEFIT SHOW!

THE STEVE ADAMYK BAND
This band features it's namesake who has spent time playing punk rock for more than half his life. Playing in such bands as MILLION DOLLAR MARXISTS, SEDATIVES & URANIUM COMEBACK most recently. He and his superstar backing band play insanely catchy punk rock of every variety.

BIG DICK (7" release show)

















This two piece features Johnny O of MILLION DOLLAR MARXISTS /URANIUM COMEBACK/ETC. as well as Dave Secretary of VAN JOHNSON/BLACK ACTORS/ETC playing heavy hitting tracks that will make you shake your butt or bang your head.

PREGNANCY SCARES
Hardcore blasts of punk rock fury played by a bunch of fuckers.

BABYLON NIGHTCLUB
11 pm.
$5

Click "read more" to read the official statement from SI Headquarters.

STANDARD ISSUE exists only because we are able to do what we do with literally ZERO overhead. We do that by STEALING ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING. The photocopies, the paper, the staples, the giant stapler, the shipping* (*of bundles of issues to our out-of-town distributors in Vancouver, Calgary, Toronto, San Jose and San Francisco--but WE have to pay when we ship to people who order copies from us, that's why you've gotta pay for shipping when you order zines from us). At least we USED to steal everything. As of a few weeks ago, our connection to that gravy train is gone.

(We still get our server space free from briangarson.com, for which we're forever indebted to Brian Garson. Who says all the heroes are dead?)

Suddenly, we find ourselves living a lifestyle we've grown accustomed too, but can no longer afford. It's like we were married to some rich person, then, when they came to their senses and realized we were nothing but a sponge hanging around in a dirty robe all day shotgunning beers in the pool, they kicked us out. Then it turned out our marriage wasn't even LEGAL. So we get nothing.

So we've got three options:

-Find some other way to keep stealing thousands of dollars worth of paper, photocopies, equipment and parcel shipping;
-Quit;
-Go legit

The first option is obviously the best. But will we be able to do it again? Probably not. So we won't bother looking.

The second option sucks. Quitting's for pussies and heroin addicts and we are neither (unless you count being both).

The third option is to go legit. Since the first option was pretty hopeless, and the second option sucked, we're gonna go with this one.

What does 'going legit' mean? Don't get your Crass patch in a bunch, friend; it doesn't mean 'selling out'. We promise you that. Will we sell more ads? Probably. We'd HAVE to. Will we be selling those ads to just anybody? No. Only to private businesses, bands, bars, etc... at reasonable rates. And I don't exactly think McDonald's and Wal-Mart are gonna be knockin on our doors, y'know? We're still nothing.

But right now, we're printing like 600 copies of each issue and it's not enough. We're gonna up that to 1000. That shit's expensive. And, we wanna keep givin em away for free (out-of-towners might have to pay for them at first--sorry, dudes, them's the breaks).

So we're gonna need your help. If you like STANDARD ISSUE, and you've been reading it for free for any or all of the past three years, buy a t-shirt from us, or go to some of the fund-raising parties we're gonna be throwing (first one's coming up on April 30th, get psyched) so we can keep putting this thing out there.

(Sorry if this whole thing is rambling and scatter-brained, I got an 8-month old here with me going apeshit.)

So, basically, the way we're looking at thing is: if we're gonna have to start shellin out to keep making oiur zine, we're gonna use this as an opportunity to up the awesome. Better quality, better content (just kidding, that's impossible), higher print-runs, more parties, more punk, more awesome. Stick around or look like a goof.

Also, send us letters (PO Box 87002 / Ottawa, ON / K2P 1X0) and e-mails (jensen_ben@hotmail.com) cuz we might start a letters section. - Ben

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